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Be An Individual, Not An Automaton...


It was a chance meeting with Dr Ashish Tavkarr {Top Psychotherapist specializing in critical cases} at CCD Bhandarkar Road Pune that set off this train of thoughts; a look at the rising issues relating to the mind in Indian Society. This is not limited to Psychology, a hobby of mine – but extends to stress, lifestyle and mental issues. This chance meeting naturally veered to aspects to Psychological ailments that we Indians tend to suffer from.



My questions to him were quite straightforward, though slightly off-the-beaten-track. My observations were on the line of the surprising rising trend of psychological issues in Indian Society, and the inability of the Indian Family unit to deal with these. As a matter of fact, my observation at the close of our chat was rather blunt : Psychotherapy is a rich-man’s illness, due to a variety of reasons. The key aspect here is psychological ailments have no biological reasons by-and-large in terms of vectors of the disease; and yet they are rising. Thus, there has to be a set of reasons that emanate from our lifestyle, our society, our family unit and our overall approach.

I approached him with two questions, or rather observations. One, Indian Families do not understand, appreciate, accept and realize Psychological aspects of sickness – and not just in the terms of shame to family name. The problem is much deeper. Second, my observation was any psychological issue has one similarity with other diseases – the earlier you identify them, the easier it is to deal with it. And early identification is hard due to simple lack of awareness at the ground level, as people cannot identify the symptoms of the disease.  The second aspect is not something I am qualified to deal with; but the first is something that you and I can do something about!

RISING INCIDENCE
While there is decidedly a genetic component to this issue of rising incidence, this I shall not touch; my blog is not the place for it. My main concern in my writings in the Individual, The Family and The Society, in all their manifestations. Accordingly, The Indian Family and the Indian People by and large suffer from an inability to understand what entails a true symptom of a psychological problem. That is why we wrongly call people names for perfectly normal behaviour, and incorrectly ignore truant behaviour that is actually a signal of a deeper problem. This is independent of level of education, sadly. In fact, rising incidence is partly due to rising stress, materialism, racing with the rest of the world, the pressure to conform, and a rising distance between values & actions among other reasons.  

For example – shyness is not a problem, either in society, or in individual relationships, or in life. But, mishandling a shy person in formative stages can lead to serious problems later on in life. This is a general problem I have observed many times, as people just cannot accept their children being different from them. Thus, instead of allowing children the independence to develop, they are often forced to conform; leading to other problems in later stages of life. Most tragically, this habit – forcing our children to conform -  leads to many  genuine talents being destroyed, and realizing only a part of their true potential. Please realize that each human is a masterpiece, a creation of true wonder – given the chance to develop without your pressure!

This isn’t limited to Shyness; be it Bipolarity, Anxiety, OCD, Depression – each has its early indicators and symptoms; it is our ignorance that leads to us ignoring them. This is complicated by the factors above-  societal norms, impressions, pressures, and other factors. We routinely ignore the real problem signs, and target perfectly normal behaviour, naming it  as deviant. We just fail to grant the individual in our lives as an individual, and refuse to accept any person who is different. This puts pressure on the individual to conform and get in line, so to speak.

This is further complicated by overt pressure by family and friends, as well as taunting and teasing, further creating a complex situation. While it doesn’t land up as a psychological problem most times – it is beyond argument that this behaviour of ours destroys innate talent, and we end up creating automatons who conform rather than diversify and flower into the wonders they are fully capable of becoming. This destroys potential, productivity and kills ideas before they are born. Worst of all, it prevents God’s Creations from becoming the true wonders they are.

CONCLUSION
There are other vital aspects – competition, the rat race, the pressure for performance and marks. These aspects are a function of our structural issues Education as well as Health, and thus are beyond the pale of this article. My concern is the society and the family. The problem I have stated above is endemic in nature in our society. Why must we force people to conform to a certain type? Why cant we accept each individual as unique, a true wonder of God? Doesn’t being human give us intellect and the ability to choose for ourselves basis our own capabilities? Why be something we are not? Animals do not have this ability to choose, or the intellect and skills to create. If we depress individuality, aren’t we calling into question the very basis of our humanity? This is a question that all of you have to answer for yourselves…

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