Speak From The Heart - Thought, Words, Action, Values In Total Agreement

Speaking from the heart is an idiom, a statement that we have often heard; I have always wondered how can we do that? Its full meaning was always beyond me, beyond my understanding. How exactly do we speak from the heart? Its meaning has been understood by some as being truthful; by others as speaking your mind; and by yet others as being honest in your communication. Speaking of self, I never understood it, nor did I ever attempt to really fathom what it means beyond a basic conceptualization. And yet, it would always trouble me how easily people can forget their words, or be insincere, or indeed say something they did not mean. It would disturb my equilibrium.

This was the situation for the past umpteen years, till a slow, steady realization dawned on me; as I slowly began to understand the real import of these powerful words – and this realization came not from the internet, or books, or psychology or anything of that sort – it came from within me, all by itself. This article is for those of you who maybe on the same path as self; it took me 3 years plus of thought, self-introspection, and abhyaas to fathom. If I can ease the path for even one individual, I will feel that I have returned to society, my community what I am in the process of learning. Note that, please – I am still a learner; follow my writings to stay abreast of my self-development efforts.

THE THREE LEVELS OF SPEECH

These past 3 years of abhyaas has taught me, or led me to the realization that, just like consciousness – speech also has levels. In my words, they are – speaking from your mouth, from your vocal chords, and from deeper inside you, which you can call your heart. As on date, I am just beginning to gain conscious realization of my levels, and am beginning to feel when and how I speak. And, critically, the entire process, feeling and consciousness behind each level is separate. As you progress deeper, from the first level to the third, you get deeper into your values, deeper into the real you.

Slowly, you realise the slow receding of insincerity, cunningness and calculativeness in your speech, purifying, as a result, not just your speech, but your resultant actions, your mind and your thoughts. Also, it is hard to turn off and on; you cant command it to appear on whim. Point being – speaking from your heart isn’t something you do on specific occasions – it should be your intrinsic quality, a basic nature, almost your personal brand in all situations, and in all communication! However, it is also virtually impossible to lie, or show cunning in this mode. And this mode, once attained for even a moment, stays with you – eating into your innards when you let your old habits resurface.

THE BASIC LEVEL

Unless you had an external stimulus or factor, you would never need to speak; speech is always in response to an external stimulus or factor. It is either your need / want, or a response to someone else’s need or want – even routine friendly talk is a basic need, desire. Thus, we usually think what we have to speak. This is the mind-mouth connection, where there is no deep involvement of any senses, or routine speech.  This is evaluative; the focus is on either satisfying our wants, or responding to an external stimulus. Since there is an absence of a deeper evaluation against values, right or wrong etc, this can at times be cunning, calculative, full of deceit, or at best insincere.          

SAT, RAJ AND TAM…

This {para above} is the mode in which we all operate, self included. Now most of us may not be in the mode of deceit; but we do frequently say things that we have no intention of doing, or don’t agree with, or have an internal value clash, or we aren’t interested in. The reasons are diverse – ranging from routine dismissal, to casual talk, and can even have no reason at all. Many times, we resort to lies, deceit so as not to hurt others; but many times, we do tend to dress up the truth, or lie outright, to attain our personal objectives, or say things that are in complete disagreement with our values.

This brings me to the concept of Sat, Raj and Tam, or the three “Gun” as per Sanataani literature. Rajogun is the result of the inter-dependency of Desire, Actions and Results; Tamogun is also the same, with the factors of needless chasing after things, anger, jealousy, etc. Now Satgun is straightforward, truthful, honest, and pure. It can be easily seen that the three are always present in all  of us, and that we shift from one mode to the other depending on our circumstance. This is par for the course of life, at least for most of us, self included as on date.

DEEPER LEVELS

The moment you manage to rise above the automatic reaction driven by your desires and personal wants, as indicated above, you come to a situation when your heart is not in agreement – yet your mind instructs you, this is what needs to be done; or your minds throws up distractions – with the result that your speech is not in touch with your innermost being; and yet, you ignore these signs and continue anyway. Over time, as I realized, that at such times, I could actually feel my vocal chords making sound.

The next level – when your mind, thoughts, wants, desires, speech, action are all in one line, in total mutual agreement, is the hardest to achieve. I have only managed to touch it, as the external world still needs to be negotiated, the pitfalls met. Operating at this level isn’t a choice. I have been trying, and failing magnificently most of the time. But when you do touch it, trust me – you will know. Your actual, physical heart, will tell you in no uncertain terms. And it wont be your imagination either. This is the time when you speak your true heart, in Satgun mode, devoid of anger, jealousy, personal desires etc – and attain a level of communication when you actually do the deeds your mouth speaks… and this is the level that should be our target!

WHAT IS THE CONNECTION?

How are the above related to the topic of the article? The key is the link between actions & desires, the presence of laziness, anger, jealousy, ego etc – reactions and feelings that are present when we reside in the Tam or Raj state of mind & body. The first step towards increasing the level of speech deeper, is this understanding. Why do we lie, or say half-truths? Because at the core lies a want, need,or desire of ours that needs to be fulfilled. At this  level, morality, right / wrong etc doesn’t enter; the only critical aspect under evaluation is personal satisfaction. Even insincere statements can be attributed to it; we tend to brush off without thought, not wanting to hurt the other person, for example, leading to insincerity.

But when realization hits you, you begin to feel intense internal discomfort when your thoughts, actions, or words do not coincide with values, morals, right / wrong etc. You realise with pain that while your physical needs have been met by your insincere {or worse} words, at a mental level or in your heart – you are not happy. This eats into you, lessening your enjoyment of the moment of success. The reason is that while your heart desires purity, truthfulness etc – your words belie that, leading to a value conflict!

GOING DEEPER – AND WHAT IT TAKES

Unless you have the realization of the link of speech, desires, morality, right / wrong, value systems – you cannot transcend the first level. And even after realization, unless there is the need & the overpowering urge to operate at higher levels of consciousness, &at a purer level as compared to current levels, it is hard to go deeper, to truly speak “from the heart”, so to speak. For speaking from the heart at all times requires a complete consonance & agreement between thoughts, actions, desires, morality, values, right / wrong, conscience. Ideally, you should not be stating or thinking or doing a single word, thought or action that is not agreeable to all of the above parameters.

And that requires practice, or abhyaas. It has taken me 3 years of consistent early morning meditation, or scriptural reading, to realise this. That is the level of abhyaas that is required, for the modern world, with it myriad pulls, pressures, problems, and rampant surrender of values makes it hard to operate at the highest level. The path isn’t easy, in a world not known for these things – it is exceptionally hard. Even now, I am barely scratching the surface. But the benefits make it worth it, notwithstanding the negatives! That is the topic of the concluding part of this mini-series that will be published coming Sunday…