Speak From The Heart-2 : Skills Required, The Path, And The Pluses N Minuses

In the previous part – Speak From The Heart: Thoughts, Words, Action, Values inTotal Agreement, we have seen the concept of Speaking from the heart, and what it takes to achieve, a complete consonance in morals, values, thoughts, beliefs, and speech; and had closed on the concept of benefits and risks from the same. Before we go deeper into the same, let us examine this concept from the top, getting a better feel of this, and its actual practice.

IN PRACTICE

One can say that this isn’t something that needs to be a constant practice; in normal conversation, for instance, we usually say many things we don’t really mean – and given the prevalent societal constructs, these are understood for what they are : just normal talk. For example – when someone asks you to visit, you always say, sure I will; but rarely do you ever visit. Now this is understood; and you would be right in thinking so – especially since it is quite possible that this offer to visit itself is a polite one, made out of etiquette or decency, with no real meaning in it. Except – this is still a lie, or at best, a statement made without any thought. It would be far better to state, I will try, or will do my best. This isn’t a lie, and it isn’t insincere. Similarly, there are other ways to be polite than an insincere invite!

Similarly, there are more serious aspects to this – one cannot reveal one’s true thoughts in a business negotiation, for example. That would be foolish, to put it mildly. But the thing is, Business is actually based on the premise of Full Information Disclosure, which is even a legal requirement with the statutory limitations to it, of course. Be it something so small, so irrelevant as a polite {but insincere} yes to a vendor / customer / partner / team-member, or be it more complex negotiations between people / companies – this is a major hindrance, as many people have found out to their discomfiture. For each of the insincere or “polite” statements, it is feasible to conduct yourself in a manner where you achieve the same objectives, with greater sincerity of purpose.

THE RISKS

The benefits of conducting yourself along these high moral standards of speaking the truth & being one with your mind-heart-body-mouth on a daily, hourly, by-the-minute basis are tremendous, though they are achieved with some effort, a lot of conscious thinking & all-round adjustment, and mature problem-solution on your part. This is a path that is fraught with high risk, make no mistake.  I might even state that the risks are exceedingly high, truth be told. We are living in a society that thrives on the ephemeral and the transitory, the skin-deep, the immediate. We are further living in a world where morals are absent, or in a state of flux.

When you state – do come home, you actually mean it. When you state, I will come – you actually do. When you state I will call, you actually do. Do that long enough, and people will start wondering, “I was just being polite – and this chap is taking me seriously”. Well, what do the others mean “being polite?” Didn’t you state please visit / I will visit? Why speak thus when you have no intention of doing so? Is telling a blatant lie so very essential? Being polite is one thing – lying quite another. Again, the point here is the extent to which your truthfulness should go; if even these small things are truthful, the bigger ones will click by themselves.

NEGOTIATING THE RISKS – SKILL DEVELOPMENT

You could end up ruffling a few feathers-  this is certain to happen initially, as you are yet to develop the skills sets required to negotiate the pitfalls that will undoubtedly arise. Initially your truthfulness will be misinterpreted for being too frank, or blunt, or brusque, or uncomfortably factual; or theoretical, or lacking team-spirit, or indeed all of them.  Remember – we are in a society that thrives on the complete opposite of truth, honesty and sincere speech; a place where being polite takes precedence over truth, by and large. And trust me – a few of these times when you are called out, the accusors will be right; you will be blunt, or brusque, or worse. As I said, you and I haven’t the skill-sets needed.

What matters in the initial stages is your intent behind this behaviour. If that is born of purity of thought as described in the first part, with no harmful intent, you will be on the right track. As the weightage of Satgun in your make-up increases, slow realization of your errors in the path will manifest themselves to you, as you realise them and see how to correct them without compromising. That will require a control on your Ego, which will make you feel superior. At such times, you need to get back to the ground, for you aren’t superior! That will also require a questioning attitude and an open mind.

You will need to learn to be tactful, being frank without being blunt; being truthful without sacrificing your relationships, being polite without lying, being factual without being insulting and condescending; you will need to upgrade your professional skills as well – as handling teams, vendors, partners, customers will be far harder when you are committed to unwavering truth and heart-talk. That will require patience; it will require a deep knowledge of your domain, your job as well as your people, as only then will alternative methods to achieve your business or task centric goals manifest themselves. Ignore this step at your own risk!  

You will need to develop uncommon endurance – and trust me, it requires uncommon levels of endurance. You will need  a never-say-die attitude, as well as very high levels of dedication and perseverance. You will need to control your frustration, as the initial stages will throw the temptation of wanting to change the world, a highly impractical venture if there ever was one. You will need to be alert and aware at all times. And most vitally, you will need the ability to accept losses, and the ability to unwind – a hobby or two if you please, so that you can relax.

THE BENEFITS

As can be seen, the list of requirements & skills for speaking from your heart is long and arduous. It is a demanding list, and a very trying one indeed. It has to be so – the path you have chosen is harsh, hard, with no visible immediate benefits, and long. It is a demanding, testing path; a brutal test of character and of strength.  If you have to mean each word you utter, howsoever insignificant, then there is no other way. At times, you will fail – note that, will fail, certain. That brings me to the last skill – the ability to get up and get back to the right path as many times are is required. Question arises, why should you or I do it at all?

Firstly, because it is the right thing to do, ethically – morally - legally. But it goes deeper, as you will discover. You will get, slowly, a reputation for being solid and truthful – this is very highly valued by Channel Partners, Vendors and external stakeholders. Your network maybe lesser in number, but the people who do link with you on a deep level, will be very precious. Your skills develop in the professional sphere, as you are forced to either upgrade, or lose. And most important, you will be more relaxed eventually, more purposeful, trustworthy and decisive. Now that is a package that is well worth the effort, in my opinion – which is why I am striving to achieve it… howsoever long it takes!